I AM NOT AN ADULT

I am definitely not an adult. Adult Checklist:

• Have a career, not just a "job"
• Like your career
• Clients don't think you're too young to work here
• Don't make plans that start after 9pm because sleep
• Talking about "back in my day"
• Pay rent
• Car payments
• Drink coffee regularly
• Living away from home
• Get together with friends for no reason other than someone got a new bottle of wine
• Have a savings account
• Old enough to live with a significant other
• Old enough to get married and have it be socially acceptable
• Old enough to start a family and have it be socially acceptable
• Not be afraid to look at your bank statement

Wait.

No.

NO ONE TOLD ME I WAS AN ADULT.

When did this happen? No one warned me! 

One of my friends is going to a 4 year college and is leaving tomorrow for his 3rd year. We graduated 8th grade together. That means I'm the same age as him. That means that if I had not dropped out to focus on trade I would be starting my 3rd year of college.

Since when am I old enough to be (in theory) half way through college? Since when am I old enough for my friends to start talking about marriage and babies? We were just talking about who was going to drive us to the mall because no one had their license! That was only... 5 years ago? WHAT?!

What brought this all to light was (partly the post about my friend going back to college) that my boyfriend is moving out of state at the end of this month to pursue his career. I had already started to book plane tickets to I could visit him when he told me to hold off....

....

.....

......

........"We need to talk"

Now we haven't talked about the move much. Mostly because I am terrified to. So of course I freaked out a little bit.. But it wasn't awful!

He said that he isn't concerned about us handling the distance (we know it is going to be hard and we know there is going to be a lot of unexpected, but we are determined to figure it out!) but he is concerned that I am still here. He just wants to know that we have a future and that I will be willing to move up there with him eventually.

PAUSE.

Moving in with a boyfriend?! I am not old enough to do that! But I am and that's terrifying. I am not moving any time soon. Just because I am not ready to leave yet, not because of him. But oh my gosh. That is the most grown up conversation I have ever had and it just sort of happened! Like it was normal, like that's a normal thing!

I am so not ready to adult.