I AM NOT AN ADULT

I am definitely not an adult. Adult Checklist:

• Have a career, not just a "job"
• Like your career
• Clients don't think you're too young to work here
• Don't make plans that start after 9pm because sleep
• Talking about "back in my day"
• Pay rent
• Car payments
• Drink coffee regularly
• Living away from home
• Get together with friends for no reason other than someone got a new bottle of wine
• Have a savings account
• Old enough to live with a significant other
• Old enough to get married and have it be socially acceptable
• Old enough to start a family and have it be socially acceptable
• Not be afraid to look at your bank statement

Wait.

No.

NO ONE TOLD ME I WAS AN ADULT.

When did this happen? No one warned me! 

One of my friends is going to a 4 year college and is leaving tomorrow for his 3rd year. We graduated 8th grade together. That means I'm the same age as him. That means that if I had not dropped out to focus on trade I would be starting my 3rd year of college.

Since when am I old enough to be (in theory) half way through college? Since when am I old enough for my friends to start talking about marriage and babies? We were just talking about who was going to drive us to the mall because no one had their license! That was only... 5 years ago? WHAT?!

What brought this all to light was (partly the post about my friend going back to college) that my boyfriend is moving out of state at the end of this month to pursue his career. I had already started to book plane tickets to I could visit him when he told me to hold off....

....

.....

......

........"We need to talk"

Now we haven't talked about the move much. Mostly because I am terrified to. So of course I freaked out a little bit.. But it wasn't awful!

He said that he isn't concerned about us handling the distance (we know it is going to be hard and we know there is going to be a lot of unexpected, but we are determined to figure it out!) but he is concerned that I am still here. He just wants to know that we have a future and that I will be willing to move up there with him eventually.

PAUSE.

Moving in with a boyfriend?! I am not old enough to do that! But I am and that's terrifying. I am not moving any time soon. Just because I am not ready to leave yet, not because of him. But oh my gosh. That is the most grown up conversation I have ever had and it just sort of happened! Like it was normal, like that's a normal thing!

I am so not ready to adult.

#burritos #thunderthighs

Oops! Forgot about my blog again.. I've been swamped at work and there is a lot I want to blog about! I think I am going to blog in reverse order.. First, let's talk about what's on my mind today. (Next post I'll tell you about my badass weekend. And maybe I'll have finally gotten the photos from my friends)

So here's what on my mind today:

Burritos! 

(Cat not included)

Actually, nothing involving a cat; the picture is just cute.

I really want another tattoo. I am craving another tattoo. I want a burrito tattoo! 

Now don't start gasping and asking if I am getting a Taco Bell tattoo (my coworker already asked) -- because I am not. I am getting a burrito because I like burritos.

I have gained weight in the last few years and, even though I still love my body, I am a little more ashamed of it than I would like to be.

I've got thunder thighs and the stretch marks to prove it.

I have started wearing longer and longer shorts over my swim suits and avoiding my tummy at all costs.

I started going to the gym a few months ago, but I didn't do it to lose weight! I started just because I want to be healthier. I like my body and am generally pretty happy with it. I like my curves, I like my butt... just maybe not the stretch marks and flubby tummy, but whatever.

So I want to do something to remind myself of why I started and to not stress about my weight. As long as I am happy with how I look, I shouldn't be ashamed. I've never really been concerned about weight - only about how I look. I care about how I fit into my favorite jeans (which fit great, by the way), and how button-up blouses look on me.

I like food.

I LOVE FOOD

And I want to remind myself that it is okay to enjoy it! I love burritos, I love pizza (my initial idea of the tattoo), I like cake! So, I want to get a burrito with scroll across it that says, "Enjoy Yourself" to remind me. :)